I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you.
And I did.
You know all those things you’ve always wanted to do? You should go do them.
If you’re ever with a girl who is too good for you, marry her.
Marry someone who lets you drink their juice, even after you said you weren’t thirsty. Marry someone who laughs at the same things you do. Marry someone who kisses your nose on a cold day. Marry someone who you can watch Disney movies all day with. Marry someone who is proud of you whether you earn £5 a week or £5,000 a week. Marry someone who you can tell everything to. Marry someone who isn’t afraid or embarrassed to hold your hand in public. Marry someone who lets you take over when decorating a cake. Marry someone who you can spend the day in Ikea with without feeling stressed. Marry someone who wraps you up inside their coat in the winter. Marry someone who accepts your fears and phobias. Marry someone who gives you butterflies every time you hear their key in the door. Marry someone who you don’t always have to shave your legs for. Marry someone who accepts you all day every day, even when you don’t look or feel your best. Marry someone who still puts three sugars in your tea, despite telling them “just two”. Marry someone who doesn’t judge you when you eat your body weight in cookies. Marry someone who doesn’t make you want to check your phone, because you already know they will reply. Marry someone who waits with you to get on the train. Marry someone who understands that you need to be alone sometimes. Marry someone who gets on well with your parents and isn’t uptight about family events. Marry someone who calms you down when you get mad about stupid stuff, and never tells you it’s “only stupid stuff”. Marry someone who makes you want to be a better person. Marry someone who makes you laugh. Marry someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Marry someone who you love. Marry your soulmate, your lover, your best friend.
Reading is everything. Reading makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter. Reading gives me something to talk about later on. Reading is the unbelievably healthy way my attention deficit disorder medicates itself. Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape; it’s a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up, and it’s a way of making contact with someone else’s imagination after a day that’s all too real. Reading is grist. Reading is bliss.
I did love you. Maybe not know a huge, crazy way. But in a good for me way. This relationship with you made me realize there are a multitude of ways to love someone. And maybe I never said it, but I did love you. It was a love that saved me from myself. You made me love myself again. You made me believe in people. I may lie if anyone asks, but what you did was the right thing. If you didn’t feel it for me, I’m glad you did what you did for not only you, but both of us. We never would have actually been happy together in the future. Maybe one day we’ll be able to be friends, because for a while you were the only real one I had. I owe you a lot. And I hope someday you find the person you’re supposed to be with, and you feel the perfect kind of love. The kind that is crazy and dramatic and forever.
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